Joy Clarke Therapy

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Healthy Romance and Sensitivity

Attachment Styles and Highly Sensitive People. What predicts healthy romance? Let’s look at the research on attachment styles to help us understand how to create healthy romantic relationships. We unconsciously act the way we do in romantic relationships for a good reason. Human beings have an innate drive to form emotional bonds with people who are precious to us. We suffer when we aren’t able to create secure bonds. The need for secure attachment is part of our inherited survival strategy. Historically, we survive better in packs than alone. Solitary confinement is one of the most devastating forms of punishment.

Why we feel the need to worry, and mistrust happiness.

Parenting impacts on partnering

EXPRESSION OF AFFECT AND IDENTITY. A mother Nyala and her young son are grazing below me as I sit here in the bush veldt in early summer. His coat is still fluffed and spotted, and his appetite voracious. The mother leads him to the water hole where they both drink, then he walks away to find green shoots on the trees to eat. She notices me watching but seems unthreatened; her ears are tuned in, turning in the direction of her young, as they graze, many feet apart, across my path. I am reading in Keeping the Love You Find

Every morning a new arrival

This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honourably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. Rumi

Grief affects us, body mind and soul

Grief affects us, body mind and soul

When you really stop to think about it, grief affects more than just your emotions and mental health. Grief affects your entire being; heart, mind, body and soul. Those observing you will notice this, but as the person grieving, you may not consciously notice the major toll grief is taking on yourself. The truth is, grief does affect every part of us, physically, mentally and emotionally. Recognize these impacts so that you can adjust your life accordingly and be gentle with yourself during this difficult time.

Heavy Heart

Losing someone close to you to death is heart-wrenching. It hurts to think that you’ll never have the chance to see your loved one or hear their voice again and there’s nothing you can do to change what happened. Your heart aches and you start to wonder if you will ever know happiness again.

Cloudy Mind

Your mind is elsewhere during the grieving process. It feels like your head has been surrounded by a dense fog, with no real sense of direction or purpose. You think about one thing and one thing only; the person you lost. It’s hard to think beyond that, so doing any kind of intellectual thinking seems nearly impossible.

Fatigued Body

Grief takes a physical toll on your body. Your energy is zapped so you don’t feel like doing anything. Many days you’d rather stay in bed than get up and face the day. It’s okay to give in to that fatigue sometimes, but try not to make this a habit. Some days you may have to push yourself to make it through the day.

Bruised Soul

Death has a way of shaking our faith and chipping away a small piece of our soul. We feel the effects of loss right down to our very core, and the pain radiates out to all other aspects of our life.

Although you can’t see it now, your body will mend itself in time. Your body will gradually start to heal itself and you will feel your spirits lift. It takes time, and there will be setbacks, but have faith and take comfort knowing that this person that you’ve changed into in the wake of death is only temporary. There is healing in grief.

By Chelsea Hanson

Anger, a friend in need

Anger, a friend? It’s worth thinking more about anger. What comes to mind now is Sue Monk Kidd in Dance of the Dissident Daughter saying that we think of only 2 things to do with anger we feel: one is to bottle it in to keep the peace, the other is to express anger and hurt people – both are destructive. She talks of the 3rd way – to use anger to begin a process of change.

Remember this?

April, come she will When streams are ripe and swelled with rain May, she will stay Resting in my arms again June, she’ll change her tune In restless walks, she’ll prowl the night July, she will fly And give no warning of her flight August, die she must The autumn winds blow chilly and cold September, I’ll remember A love once new has now grown old © 1965 Words and Music by Paul Simon Do you ever get bothered that most of what we read or sing or hear about autumn, the terms are from the Northern hemisphere? I